How I feel currently. Sunday morning working on my business. Why you ask? I own my own business and should not have to work on Sundays. This is true and most of the time I do not work on weekends. I have not been able to get to my work because of the needs of others. I was even double booked this Wednesday- go to my brother’s guardianship transfer hearing or my father’s kidney doctor appointment. Clearly the guardianship hearing was more important. I field more phone calls for my father and my brother that I can’t get work done during normal business hours. There is always distractions in life. I just have 2 others lives worth of distractions on top of my own.
Everything in life is a choice. I chose to take responsibility for the both of them. It was a crisis and I am doing the best I know how. My husband hand me read the book Choice Theory by William Glasser, MD years ago. Some siblings choose not to be guardian and that is ok too. It is empowering to say that its all a choice but it doesn’t mean the choices are easy. It is kind of like paint colors. Light and type of lighting can change the appearance.
Me by the end of the day. My brain gets pulled in a million directions and having to switch gears from client/student sessions to phone calls from a facility back to trying to write articles for HARO queries and then other obligations to organizations (current president of the local occupational therapy association, different nonprofit boards, etc). And so if you call me on my phone after 5, I am not answering. I am tired. And my brain needs rest.
Imagine this though- I had to work for someone other than myself. I am going to use the hospital as an example and pre-COVID. I am asked to maintain a certain level of productivity. It is a simple equation of patient care to documentation/non-billable time. I would have to clock out every time the phone rang. And as much as it does, I would not be working and would not be a very good employee.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Not all reactions, especially with humans, can be predicted. I definitely felt like I was in some kind of hot seat this week and everything was being questioned. Meditation was hard with the flood of thoughts but I would be more concerned if I wasn’t thinking about everything.
To the parents reading this blog, please have a plan. No one wants to talk about what happens to you when you can no longer take care of your responsibilities including your own. When there is a sibling with special needs involved, please just have the conversation. Can your neuro- typical child be able to take off work and tend to your needs as well as the siblings? I am your ghost of Christmas Future and I am tired.
Now that is off my chest, I have to go back to writing evaluations and catch up on notes. For more information on what I do for a living, please visit www.soultosoulyogasrq.com