Brain fog. Trouble concentrating. Feeling like you’re constantly a half-step behind in conversations. Exhausted after social situations that didn’t used to drain you.
If you’re a woman of a certain age, you know exactly what I just described. Perimenopause. Obviously. Or maybe ADHD — because apparently half of us are just now figuring out we’ve had it our whole lives and nobody noticed.
Except sometimes? It’s neither of those things. Or not only those things.
Sometimes it’s your hearing.
I want to be honest with you about something. I was blaming symptoms on perimenopause and ADHD for a while before it occurred to me that I might actually not be hearing well. And once I say it out loud like that, it sounds almost funny — except it’s also not funny at all, because it makes complete sense.
When you already have a framework for why you feel off, you fit everything into that framework. Brain fog goes in the perimenopause column. Trouble following conversations? ADHD. Tired after being around people? Definitely hormones. Or maybe sensory stuff. Or both.
And honestly — those things are real. Perimenopause is real. ADHD is real. They do cause many of those symptoms.
But hearing loss causes them too. And because it creeps in so gradually, and because we already had perfectly good explanations ready, it’s remarkably easy to never consider it as a possibility.
This is Better Hearing and Speech Month — and I’m bringing this up because I think this particular blind spot is especially common for women, and especially common for people like us.
Those of us who grew up as special needs siblings learned early to adapt quietly. To find workarounds. Not to be the one with the problem. That training doesn’t just disappear in adulthood — it shows up as a reflex to explain away your own symptoms before you ever land on I might need to get this checked out.
So you turn up the volume and call it a long day. You ask someone to repeat themselves and laugh it off. You sit closer, watch lips more, fill in gaps with context clues — and call it just being a good listener.
Some of the signs that tend to get misattributed to other things:
Exhaustion after social situations — because your brain is working overtime, filling in what your ears are missing. Avoiding noisy restaurants or group settings and framing it as introversion. Feeling anxious on phone calls without quite knowing why. Mishearing words in ways that feel random — not missing them entirely, but catching the wrong word. Finding it harder to follow conversations when there’s background noise, even moderate background noise.
None of this announces itself as a hearing problem. It just feels like life is feeling a little harder than it should.
If you’ve been bundling these symptoms into perimenopause or ADHD or stress or just getting older — I’m not here to tell you those aren’t real or valid. They probably are. But I am asking you to add one more question to the list:
When did I last think about my hearing?
A hearing evaluation is simple. Some audiologists offer free screenings (student clinics). Your primary care doctor can refer you. And there is no amount of hearing loss you have to reach before you’re allowed to go find out what’s happening.
We spend so much of our lives attuned to everyone else’s needs. Noticing what others miss. Managing, adapting, coping.
This month, I’m asking you to turn some of that attention toward yourself. Get the thing checked that you’ve been explaining away.
Your hearing matters. You don’t have to gaslight yourself about it.
I’m going to be talking more about this — including my own experience — on Instagram Live on May 6th at 6pm EST. Come hang out, ask questions, and let’s have the conversation we probably should have had a lot sooner. Follow along at @specialsibot so you don’t miss it.
Cheryl Albright, OTR/L, C-IAYT
Cheryl Albright is an occupational therapist, yoga therapist, and founder of SpecialSib.com and Soul To Soul Yoga. She has spent over 20 years working with children, families, and the siblings who often get overlooked.
Sorry to hear about this challenge for you.
I’m getting used it.